I spent yesterday living the
European life, sitting in the outdoor café of Tartine, a French brasserie that
serves pastis, an Ouzo-like aperitif. It
was 68⁰, probably the
last weekend of the year that will be so nice.
It’s also the last weekend of wedding season. As I sat there for an hour or so, sipping on
my third pastis (did I mention that I really
like pastis?), I watched three wedding parties driving around the square,
honking horns and waving at everyone.
The whole experience started me thinking on the institution of marriage
in Georgia. I’ve already written about
wedding protocols here, but this time I’ll take a slightly different approach
to the subject. I haven’t attached any
pictures to this posting; read a little further and I think you’ll understand
why.
Georgia is a very conservative
country. It is a male-dominated society
where the roles of women are very strictly defined. Historically, women are encouraged to take
husbands from the woman’s village. That
has its advantages: the groom has been “vetted”
over the years by the girl’s family, the young married couple will probably
stay in the village (most likely in the groom’s family’s house), and the young
bride has been pressured by society to maintain her innocence because she’s
well known in her village. This is
important because one of the expectations for a new bride is virginity. That’s becoming an issue in a country were
the rate of illegitimate births is growing by bumps and grinds. The issue is even more stressed when so many
young Georgians come to the big city, Tbilisi, for school or jobs, but return
to the villages to get married. And lots
of these émigrés to Tbilisi are young women who discover that their bubbles of
dreams and hopes are not the only things getting pricked by city life.
So what’s a young woman to
do? She doesn’t want to go against
tradition by getting engaged to a boy from the city, an unknown to her family
and neighbors in the village. At the
same time, she can’t risk returning to the village as “damaged goods.” Thankfully, it’s Western technology to the
rescue.
Recently in Tbilisi, several new
clinics have opened to deal specifically with this problem. They are called “obstetric reconstruction
clinics” or “female aesthetic clinics.”
Their mission is simple: they
repair hymens, thus returning their young clients to a state of grace. A sexual “get out of jail free” card, so to
speak. I’m not kidding you. I have absolutely no idea how they do
it. I tried to figure it out, but I had
a hard time focusing on the topic. Well,
I could focus on the “topic,” but not on the TOPIC, if you get what I’m saying.
But, anyway, I digress.
Yes, Virginia, there is a sexual
Santa Claus! You simply make an
appointment, pay up front, take a short anesthesia-induced nap, miss a day or
so of work, and boom! You’re ready for
that trip back to the village. My
experts on the subject (meaning the two or three women I drink with at the
Soviet Club, who may or may not have actual experience in this area) tell me
that these clinics’ marketing strategy targets “athletically active” women who
may have accidentally torn their hymens playing sports or riding horses. Right.
Or to be more precise, Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. It doesn’t cost much (about 900 Lari, roughly
$540) and in some cases is even covered by insurance. A small price to pay for a happy husband and
an approving village. According to my
experts again, it’s all done no questions asked. Well, except for one question, I guess: do you have the money? You do?
OK, go into room 2 and drop your pants.
(Which, truth be told, is what made the clinic necessary in the first
place.)
And all this time I’ve been
shaking my head at Georgia’s lack of technology and old fashioned mores. Hmmm. I
wonder if the clinics handle male love handles?
Thanks for reading. And aren't you glad I didn't post any pictures?
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