Tbilisi's swinging night life

Let’s start off with one simple fact:  I am not a bar hopper or late-night party guy.  My bedtime is usually around 9:00.  Now, occasionally I may burn the night oil and stay up all the way to 11, but I’m not worth a hoot the next day.  So that’s why it’s so amusing that I’m writing about the night life in Tbilisi. 

And what a night life it is.  Tbilisi has a population of about 1.3 million; that means over 30% of the entire country of Georgia’s population lives here.  (That would equate to a US city of over 90 million people.)  The locals typically go to bars, clubs, and late restaurants – just like anywhere else on Earth.  Tbilisi has two distinct types of bars and clubs – “traditional” Georgian and western.  The more traditional clubs are usually smoke-filled, subterranean rooms where Georgian men gather to drink, smoke, and solve the world’s problems.  In other words, dull. 

The western bars and clubs are also smoke-filled, usually subterranean rooms where a younger crowd gathers to drink, smoke, and forget about the world’s problems.  In our weekend travels this is where we usually end up.  My favorite of these is the Beatles Club opposite the Philharmonic Hall.  A Tbilisi institution, the Beatles Club is decorated to portray the Cavern Club where the Beatles got their start in England.  It is, like many clubs, underground so the ceilings are arched brick supported by thick, roughhewn beams.  Like everything else in the Land of Almost Right, it doesn’t quite get everything right.  The club, for example, is dedicated to “Sir John Winston Lennon” even though:  a) Lennon was never knighted (the only Beatle so honored is Sir Paul McCartney), and b) Lennon legally changed his middle name to Ono after his marriage to Yoko.  The décor consists of copied Beatles’ albums covers, usually in Russian, and photographs which are frequently mislabeled (George is identified as Paul, for instance). 

My favorite part of the Beatles Club is the band.  Consisting of four middle aged (40-45 year olds) local men, the band calls itself “Lennon’s Lovely Hearts Club Band,” an obvious play on Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, in my opinion the Beatles’ best album.  The band plays Beatles tunes, but with an ironic twist – none of the band speaks English.  They have obviously memorized the lyrics phonetically which leads to some – oh, let’s call it interesting – interpretations.  For instance, from “Twist and Shout:”  “…word is our out” instead of “..work it on out.”   “I’ll always be there” comes out “I always been there,” and my personal favorite “my heart went zoom when I crossed the womb” instead of “boom” and “room.”  Still, it’s great fun and the beer’s reasonably priced.

I’ve also enjoyed some time in the Elvis American Diner, which is exactly what you’d expect upon hearing the name.  It is an attempt to recreate a typical American diner, a la Happy Days, with Elvis memorabilia covering the walls.  There’s no live music here, but the background music is from the King’s albums, and the cheeseburger is the closest thing to an American burger you’ll find in town (except, of course, for the two McDonald’s that have managed to wedge their way into Old Town Tbilisi). 

A bar that is worth seeing if only for the amazing amount of Soviet kitsch is the KGB club with the slogan, “We’re still watching you” written in English above the door.  More a late restaurant than a bar or club, the bestselling dishes are Proletarian Pizza and Lenin’s Favorite pizza.  Right down the street from the KGB Club is the Buffalo Bill Bar, Tbilisi’s best effort to reconstruct a Wild West saloon.  Again, it is almost right.  One of the few places in town you can purchase an American beer – Miller’s Genuine Draft at $7 a bottle -- the walls are decorated with $1 bills signed by the customers.  There’s a live band playing American country and western music, and as long as you don’t pay too close attention to the lyrics they don’t sound half bad. 

Adding a German flair to Tbilisi is the Brauhaus Bar and Restaurant.  The Brauhaus is primarily a restaurant until around 9pm when the band tunes up and the kitchen switches to cold plates of sausages, cheese, and bread.  Authentic German beer flows into real German steins and liter mugs and the night’s fun begins.  A quick sidebar here – even though there are many couples and even lots of single men and women in these bars, you rarely see anyone dancing.  The customers mostly just sit and drink and listen to the bands.  Now maybe after we leave (usually before 10p), dancing starts, but it’s strange to sit in a bar with a live band and not see anyone dancing to the music. 

If you prefer your music Irish, I’ll take you to the Dublin.  An alleged Irish pub, the only thing Irish about it is the pint of Guinness they’ll pour you.  A big fan of Guinness, I have only found it here; thus, my repeat visits to scratch that itch. 

Finally, there are the ex-pat bars.  Tbilisi is home to many Americans and they mostly frequent one of two bars depending on their age.  The “younger” crowd (30-50 years old) can be found in the Anchor Bar, owned by an American woman who settled here over 15 years ago.  The Anchor Bar is more along the line of what we’d call a “sports bar.”  There are several TVs showing live sports and they offer free WiFi.  They also serve a Sunday morning brunch that is the closest thing you’ll find here to an American breakfast – scrambled eggs, pancakes, and gravy and biscuits.  On rare Sundays, they’ll even offer grits. 

The older Americans hang out in the Hotel Betsy, aka “east Florida.”  The atmosphere is, as you’d expect, quieter, the conversation more muted, and the nostalgia level painfully high.  The view from the barroom, however, is sensational and during Friday happy hours, you can get free American food – sliders or turkey sandwiches being my preferences. 

The opportunities for late night exploring in Tbilisi are endless.  There is, it seems, on every corner a restaurant, bar, or club.  None of them, however, can compare to my favorite evening hangout – at home with my wife.  That is especially poignant as we get closer to Christmas.  Tbilisi dresses up for Christmas – lights and Christmas trees are everywhere and this is one thing the Land of Almost Right does get right. 

You can get an example of Tbilisi at Christmas by clicking on the link below.  Have a happy holiday season, my friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4Obg6gflzY&feature=related